Give away

I gave myself to you again
You kissed me a quick goodbye
I heard a sad song on the radio
And I never thought love could make you wanna die
Your lips on my naked body
hoping in the morning you’ll still wanna call me
I gave myself to you again
It’s much less dramatic when there’s nothing left to give

3 notes
Did we love each other?

Slice your samurai sword directly through my heart
Cut evenly, watch me split in two
Watch me cave in and fall for you
Let the blood pool onto your feet,
you could never keep your white shoes clean
Paint the sunset blood red
Watch the sunrise over an ocean of tears shed
I never believed ‘em when they told me I was worthless
What’s a queen to a princess?
What’s a duchess to this hot mess?
My body sighed every time you made me wear that sun dress
Stop calling yourself the king of hearts
Stop telling me to play my part
I watch the waves crash
I am the shore, didn’t mean to bore you to death,
it’s always been this way..
You leave, you come back
You take bits of grains and sand
I am forced to take the strangers hand
What we shared was nothing to be had
I would misbehave,
but you were always bad
Put the plastic bag over my head now
Pull the rope now
Trap doors fling open, I guess I am gone forever
You left so early at my dinner party
But sat a the grave in the worst of weather
People have odd ways of showing they love each other

Did we love each other?

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Wood Bees

Its 2 am and I can’t sleep
Even if I close my eyes you appear in dream
Reality is a nightmare
I trace my nails across your back
I run my fingers through your hair
I lost myself looking for you
Limbs stretched around each other
Even if I tried I couldn’t get much closer
Your skin my skin
I wanted us to fuse together
Your atoms my atoms
I’m closing my eyes listening to your heart beat
Made of electrons protons neutrons
Made of angels tears and devils sweat
Sweet and imperfect
Its 2 am and I’m wishing this were a dream
I lie wide awake
You press your ear onto my stomach
You ask why it screams
I think of you whenever I see wood bees
I think of you when I can’t sleep
I think of you, now I can’t dream

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I will love you

Will you love me in the morning when I have sleepy eyes and bed head?
Will you love me when my cheeks are burning bright red?
Will you love me even if I push your buttons past your wits ends?
Will you love me in the evening when the stars become our only friends?

I will love you while the sunrises and sunsets.
I will love you when you flatter me and I blush bright red.
I will love you when you loathe me even though its all pretend.
I will love you in the moonlight guided by the stars lights again and again.

3 notes
I will love you

Will you love me in the morning when I have sleepy eyes and bed head?
Will you love me when my cheeks are burning bright red?
Will you love me even if I push your buttons past your wits ends?
Will you love me in the evening when the stars become our only friends?

I will love you while the sunrises and sunsets.
I will love you when you flatter me and I blush bright red.
I will love you when you loathe me even though its all pretend.
I will love you in the moonlight guided by the stars lights again and again.

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Close your eyes.

Close your weary eyes if you are tired,
I will find you in your dreams.
Sleep peacefully,
imagine a great world of things unseen.
Don’t let reality take it all away,
close your weary eyes child,
come out and play.
I will shield you from your demons,
I will shield you from your terrors.
I will hold your heart tightly,
never losing grip.
Let the past go, don’t fret over tomorrow,
live freely with me today,
say goodbye to your sorrows.
Close your eyes if you are tired,
dream the pain away.
Sleep peacefully darling,
for I am here to stay.

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No one

I have these empty hands
I have this empty hearty
Waiting for you
I open and close my palms
I often check my pulse
Nothing, there is nothing
The love inside of me is silent
Not dead, just not quite awake
I have these empty hands
I have this empty heart
Waiting for…
No one, no one at all
There is no one special
No one
I am truly alone

23 notes
Loosen your grip.

you’ve got your fingers in my veins
wrapped around my heart strings
and I think it’s time you’ve pulled them out
or at least loosen the grip..
you’ve got my heart feelings blue
my lips missing you
but I think you should just leave
walk away peacefully
you’ve got your hand in hers
and I’ve got a bitter tongue
so walk away before the damages done
and I won’t feel a thing
you’ve got my heart in your hands
I couldn’t push you away even if I tried
I couldn’t let go so easily
even though you were never mine

4 notes
Past Lovers

I can feel the coals resting in the pit of my heart,
their embers still warm to the touch,
but nothing hot enough to get my blood pumping like before.
My heart beats still,
yet it never forgets a past lover.
Often I day dream into memories in hopes of igniting a new spark,
but it’s hard to light up a heart that was most likely born dark.

I remember my head on his shoulder on the front lawn,
I felt fragile and frail like a new born fawn.
My arms stretched around you,
my eyes lost in the blue abyss searching for clouds to giggle at.
I remember how I felt that moment,
I knew I loved you then,
but the spark that grew into a flame died,
just like so many other times.

I remember being 16 and scared to death,
lying on an unfamiliar bed or an older boy.
Deflowered and dead inside,
for I was still a child.
I felt nothing for you but regret,
a feeling I’m all too familiar with.
But I forgave,
he would forget,
just like so many other times.

I remember snuggling in my bed,
it had been so long but you resurrected the flame.
It was late, early morning, I had snuck you in,
our lips didn’t touch we just talked for hours on end.
I thought the world was playing tricks on me,
you were such a perfect being,
but I soon noticed looks can be deceiving.
I don’t think about how you left,
I just think about that time spent when things felt alright,
just like so many other times.

I remember walking past you in the hallways,
I tried to look so cool.
I thought you would get it, get me,
but you only wanted to get in me.
I remember those late night phone calls,
I would constantly ask you what was so wrong with me,
but you would just plead the 5th,
asking for nudes.
I wanted to give you it all,
but my all was too much,
not enough,
just like so many other times.

I remember lying on our backs reading books,
I would rest my head on your shoulder.
You were smitten,
I was broken,
we both decided we clashed the wrong way.
We blamed time,
but I blame myself and these past lovers,
I keep them close to me,
like you do your books on shelves.
I’m unable to love,
I’m unable to give affection,
but I’ll admit I’m jealous when you look in any other girls direction..
just like so many other times.

Each memory a little more hurtful,
but the pain is valuable in some way.
Each lover taking a piece of me,
just like so many other times.
And now I’m okay with just these memories,
I’d much rather explore the forest than stay in one tree.
And the coals are still warm,
ready to awake,
or maybe I’m content alone anyway.

7 notes
There is more to life than what meets the average eye,but baby you were never average,can’t you see why we always got too high?I want to feel like I did when we were underneath the stars,most nights I don’t want to be anywhere but you’re backyard.And I guess what I’m trying to say without spitting on my words,is that a love like yours never comes often,could you please just keep me warm?
Pick up the phone

There are a million and one reasons why I love myself,
but it never seems to be enough.

I believe in two types of love,
the kind you give and the kind you receive.

I want to be the giver,
as well as the receiver.

I’m waiting for someone to pick up the phone,
dial my number and while it rings count how many times your heart skips and flutters.

I love me, myself, and I,
but there’s something about the company of another soul that navigates the misery elsewhere.

When you feel as cold as ice I will be the fire to warm your veins,
giving you a taste of life again.

As long as you don’t leave me high and dry,
as long as I don’t have to be my own best friend.

Pick up the phone,
pick up the phone,
I am the receiver.

Collect calls are worth the time,
I am the giver.

There is plenty of love left in this heart on the other line,
pick up the phone,
pick up the phone.

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You are the disease.

The way you don’t care about anything is like a fucking disease.
I let what you said get to me.
You said all the right things,
you made me believe your insides were sweet.
I am just a young girl,
cocky and naive.
I wanted to watch the world burn with you.
I wanted you to understand the darkness inside of me.
I was stupid to think you could even understand or relate.
The demon inside me has been fighting for years,
and I guess I expected you to care,
maybe even dry my tears.
The way you look at yourself in the mirror makes me sick.
You’re not even witty or deep,
just shallow, a total fucking creep.
I realize it wasn’t me after all,
it was you.
You are the disease.

2 notes
Slice me up.

Blood drippin’ from my wrist,
I dug too deep.
Been up for hours,
I don’t waste time on sleep,
or countin’ sheep.
The blade slips from my hands,
I’m grabbin’ on to my seat.
I’ve got no balance,
can’t stand on my own two feet.
I’ve been diggin’ this grave for years,
I bet it’s deeper than 6 feat.
Mary Jane is the only one who cares,
the only one who’s sweet.
She takes away my troubles,
I’m numb to what destroys me.
I want to live my life,
I want to run so far away I forget everything.
Just sit back, relax,
count the smoke rings,
let my thoughts free. 
Blood drippin’ from my wrist,
no one can save me.
Nothing to take away my pain,
or this fucking grief.
My mom even thinks I’m crazy,
tryna put my ass in therapy.
What they don’t know,
or see,
is they’d be better off without me. 

0 notes
Love isn’t real.

Love isn’t real.
All the boys see a broken heart,
so they rob and steal.
They’re thirsty,
doing anything for a cheap meal.
But I’m not a fool.
I know you want a good time,
and I’m gonna give it to you.
I was born into this world alone,
misunderstood girl from the suburbs,
living in a dysfunctional home.
Nothing since then has changed,
I can’t tell if I’m content,
or simply insane.
Flesh is the only thing I crave,
and I sure as hell don’t believe in God,
true love or fate.
I know I’ve got a space 6 feet under,
satans always calling my name.
He made me a trickster,
that’s how I know how to play the game.
Waiting for the world to end,
I rely on myself,
I’m my only true friend.
Yet I find myself still searching again.
I’m on the look out for a quick fix,
won’t get attached,
I’ve got my heart guarded although it’s been nicked.
All these players think they’re slick,
but what they don’t know is I’m not humble,
I’m a cold hearted bitch.
I know nothing last forever,
hearts can’t break,
and people aren’t really that clever.
Love isn’t real,
I’ve got a past to prove it.
The words coming out your mouth,
it’s all bullshit.
You’re born alone,
you die alone,
our hearts will never find a home,
but that’s okay.
I would rather live my life this way.

1 note
I’ll care.

You want someone to be there,
someone to care.
A hand to hold,
a throat to coke,
another bowl to smoke.
I know how it feels to be alone,
a dog without its bone,
living in a house that’s not a home.
You need someone to hold on,
always there, never gone.
I need you to stick around,
pick me up when I hit the ground.
Spin’ my head round and round,
fuck me til’ I can’t make a sound.
Looking for somethin’ permanent,
got a hard on like cement,
and I won’t ask you to repent,
'cause even I love to sin.
You want someone to be there,
what if I told you I cared?
What if I said I’ve been there,
and back. 
Serious like a heart attack,
let you put me on my back,
moanin’ til the sun rises,
and it’s time to pack.
I don’t plan on leaving,
'cause you got me feeling,
things I’ve never felt before,
got me coming back for more.
If you are the sea,
I promise I’ll be your shore.

2 notes