I hate these mood swings.
I am feeling better today. The weather yesterday was terrible. Muggy humid rainy, that could have been why I wanted to die.. along with all the other shitty things going on in my life. but today I feel somewhat better I guess.. I’m starting to feel like nothing matters or means anything.. I want to break off from social acceptance. I want to move out of my parents house. I want my own space so I can smoke mad weed and play my drums whenever the fuck I want.
Thinking more and more about going back to school to do a 4 year apprenticeship. Fuck I’m going to be 20 in a couple months.. I have wasted two years of my life.. well maybe just one, but I need to choose a path and start something.. I am so tired of doing NOTHING
Goals: Finds something I can tolerate and make money during the day. Pay off debt. Move out. Rent storage space. Reunite with my drum set.
Today I’m going to start small by doing some research.. then I’m going to dye my hair because that usually makes me feel better about my life.. really I just want to jam the fuck out with my friends. Our band was coming along, we just need to stop talking and start doing.
Also a trip to Richmond is due. I need to thrash my face off.